| A child ran into an ice-cream shop in The Middle | | | | "On what?" the child wanted to know. |
| East with tears streaming down his cheeks. | | | | "Repetition. I say it, you say it, we all say it over |
| "What's wrong," the shopkeeper asked. | | | | and over - and pretty soon we all believe it." |
| "The ice cream I just bought from you is melting!" | | | | "But how do you know America is to blame for |
| the child wailed, holding up the evidence. | | | | everything?" |
| Sure enough, the delectable treat was dripping | | | | "Don't let yourself be sidetracked by idle thoughts. |
| down the cone. | | | | All you have to know is, blame America." |
| "I'm sorry," the merchant told him. | | | | "What about the summer heat?" |
| "I want a new one," the child demanded. | | | | "And who do you think is responsible for the |
| "I'll be happy to give it to you, but I warn you; it | | | | summer heat? America!" |
| will also melt." | | | | "Really?" |
| "But why?" the child asked. "Is it the heat?" | | | | "Of course. Didn't you ever hear of global |
| The shopkeeper glanced at the thermometer that | | | | warming?" |
| hung on the wall. It read 110 degrees. | | | | "No, what's that?" |
| "No, son, it is not the heat." | | | | "It's what happens when America makes anything. |
| "Then what is it?" | | | | It always makes smoke. The smoke goes up in |
| "Blame America." | | | | the sky. The smoke traps the heat that comes |
| "America?" the child asked. | | | | from the sun. The earth gets warmer. So your |
| "Yes, especially President Bush and his | | | | ice cream melts." |
| administration. They're responsible." | | | | "Isn't anybody else to blame for global warming?" |
| "Why would they make ice cream melt in the | | | | "I told you before, don't complicate things. Just |
| sun?" | | | | blame America, and everybody will agree with |
| "Why would they want us to kill each other?" | | | | you." |
| "They want that, too?" | | | | "Oh, OK. Then I'll blame America." |
| "Why else would we do it?" | | | | Just then the child's ice cream fell out of the cone |
| "Oh," said the child. "Is America to blame for | | | | and plopped onto the floor. |
| anything else?" | | | | "See what America did to your ice cream? What |
| "Oh, yes," said the shopkeeper. | | | | do you say?" |
| "Like what?" | | | | "Blame America." |
| "Everything that goes wrong." | | | | "Very good. And what do you wish for America?" |
| "Really? I thought America was spending a lot of | | | | "What do you mean?" |
| money to make things better for us and that a | | | | "What we all wish," the shopkeeper said. Then he |
| lot of America soldiers were dying to help make | | | | raised his fist, and shouted, "Death to America!" |
| things better for us." | | | | "Oh," said the child, who was so frightened by the |
| "No, no, my son. You must not listen to such lies. | | | | yell he jumped backward. |
| Just blame America." | | | | "So say it after me," the merchant encouraged |
| "But why?" | | | | him. "Come on, now. Death to America!" |
| "Why else? When we blame America, we don't | | | | "Can I have another ice-cream cone if I say it?" |
| have to blame ourselves." | | | | "Of course, you can. Just say it." |
| "Oh," said the young man. "But do people really | | | | "Death to America!" |
| believe America is responsible for everything that | | | | "Excellent!" the shopkeeper said, and reached for |
| goes wrong?" | | | | the scoop. |
| "That depends." | | | | |