The High Cost of Short-Term Romantic Involvement

We can learn a great deal from History. Thewould have been well crafted. Most likely, he
details in old stories awake our curiosity. Knowingwould not have mentioned many details about
what has happened in the past gives ushimself. Instead, he would have written what
perspective. Trying to figure out explanationspotential romantic partners want to hear. His
renders us thoughtful; comparing sources,internet chatting would have consisted of witty
insightful. Theories unconfirmed by facts prompt aand flattering remarks. Empty words are as
man to stop, not to move. Doubts make useffective with the foolish today as they were
reflect and yearn for proof.two centuries ago.
Giacomo Casanova's autobiography is anWe can also be sure that, in his internet dating,
outstanding literary achievement that has elevatedCasanova would have remained a relentless liar
its author to the prototype of perfect seducer.driven by short-term benefits. In the 18th
Few novels or essays have equalled his vividcentury, he was a manipulator bent on immediate
depiction of the best and worst in human nature.action. His tactics consisted of assailing preys with
His portrayal of vanity and foolishness hasflowers and jewellery until the battle was won.
remained fresh through the centuries, providingWould he have found contemporary romantic
evidence of how little the world has changed.films too slow? Possibly. The real Casanova was
Does Casanova's romantic advice still apply in theas fast in charging as he was in retreating. His
age of instant messaging and on-line dating? Areobjective was to win and deplete the confidence
there practical lessons that we can draw from hisof his victims. His effectiveness was measured in
experience? Would Casanova (1725-1798) havedays. His purpose would not accept any delays.
proven an effective seducer also in the era ofEven in the worst of times, few men possess
mobile phones and blogs?Casanova's callousness.
My answer might surprise you, but I amFinally, we can also assume that Casanova's
convinced that on-line dating would have nothouse of cards would have inevitably collapsed in
modified Casanova's results. His story would havea contemporary context. Romantic attraction
been repeated, sequence by sequence, onlywithout substance can never be sustained for
faster. He would have become extremelylong. If we trust literature and History, human
successful in the short term, but eventually, as itnature has not fundamentally changed in this
did happen, he would have ended up in lonelinessrespect.
and financial ruin.Extreme short-term orientation involves high
Despite the fact that Casanova was notpsychological costs and deprives man of the
particularly handsome, we can be sure that, if hepossibility of attaining real affection. Being focused
lived today, he would have placed a fantasticonly on immediate benefits starves the spirit and
photo on his internet dating profile. Through cleverdestroys the soul.
grooming, lighting, and composition, he would haveLooking for a life's partner is an exercise in
managed to portray himself as irresistible.self-knowledge which needs just the time it takes.
Most people who date on-line don't take theRemain true to your rational nature and learn
trouble to do that, since they prefer to befrom Casanova's mistakes. Discard a short-term
themselves. They opt for looking as they usuallyapproach to human relationships. It generates
do even if that makes them less popular.disproportionate costs and inevitably results in
The text of Casanova's internet dating profilefailure.