| How much involvement is enough when setting | | | | feeling abandoned and disconnected from the |
| boundaries with your adult children? Just enough! | | | | family. They find themselves lost and alone in a |
| You raise your children with the idea that when | | | | world that may be more than they can negotiate. |
| they turn 18, they will be completely independent | | | | The result is that it may lead them to do things |
| with the exception of possibly paying for college. | | | | that aren't in their best interest in the long run. |
| But just because a child turns 18 doesn't mean | | | | Too much involvement results in enmeshed |
| parenting isn't wanted or needed. What it does | | | | relationships which prevent healthy individuation |
| mean is that the relationship between a parent | | | | and independence. This parent is overly involved |
| and an adult child needs to be different than the | | | | and doing too much for the adult children which |
| one between a parent and a minor child. This is a | | | | prevents them from having to grow up and face |
| particularly relevant question for adult children with | | | | life on their own. This parent may enable |
| problems. | | | | irresponsibility and wrong choices by picking up the |
| Statistics show that adult children are becoming | | | | pieces and preventing the adult child from dealing |
| financially independent at a later age than in | | | | with consequences. |
| previous generations. Adult children are living at | | | | Just enough involvement fosters healthy |
| home longer and marrying later. Even married | | | | responsibility and independence in the adult child |
| children need help, especially in this difficult and | | | | and offers mutual respect (1 Peter 2:17) and |
| uncertain economy. This parent-to-adult child | | | | flexibility to respond to the needs and boundaries |
| relationship often involves answering the question | | | | of both the parent and grown child. The |
| of how much time, money, guidance, help, and | | | | involvement doesn't hurt the adult child or the |
| involvement to offer. | | | | parent. It may involve financial help at times, |
| Involvement can range from too much to too | | | | support through difficult times, or letting go to |
| little to just enough. | | | | allow the adult child to learn from mistakes but |
| Too little involvement results in a grown child | | | | always involves setting necessary boundaries |
| having little support through difficult times and | | | | especially with adult children that have problems. |